I know I think about it too much?

There's a lot for you to deal with. I think I'll just address some points. For one thing, I wouldn't go advertising your potential ity until you're more sure of your feelings. Many cities have something where there is a support group for gay people. You could go there, hang out with some gays and s, no pressure, and just see how you feel. If, ultimately, you decide you are gay, as sad as it is, practicality has to be considered when coming out. If you don't want to risk being on your own financially, you may need to wait until you're done with school to come out to your parents. That doesn't mean you can date and make friends. You don't need to advertise your uality, gay or straight. So if a teammate slaps you on the behind, you don't need to warn them you're gay. They didn't intend it in a ual way, so you don't need to turn it into a ual issue.